Let her heart and soul, just let it be

Things have really changed for me. I’m just gonna let it all out right now
My parents left me at 8, my sisters at 12, Alistair, Caitrin and now Amy.
I just cant stand the thought of loving someone and them leaving me, for whatever reason it may be
It is so hard for me to just let myself love someone or get close be it friend or more, I just can’t do it
I know myself and who I am and what I want but sometimes it just creeps up on me unexpectedly and I finally admit that I do care and love that person.
I was at the airport last  night, Amy is now living in New Zealand. I couldn’t help but think about how I will be there in 4.5 weeks to fly away on a jetplane. a part of me is scared, the other excited. I feel all kinds of things, happiness, sadness, nervousness and even hope.
I can express myself and be shut down or be embraced and either way it was worth it, whether I cried my eyes out and poured my heart out and you still left me or I told you how great of a friend you have been and how much I will miss you, Amy!
I need to take that risk just saying it all and if i win or lose the outcome will still be worth it because now I know.

So here I am and this is what I want to do.